This is in Keithley, The dirty bas*ards.

Not content with looking after Wild Childs & Freyas cover art, I like to support my good lady wife with her one woman mission to take over WHSmith.

Hell, if you can’t beat them – join em.

Promoting anything is hard, promoting a book must be a nightmare.

I’m lucky to have a few associates in the celebrity world to help with this, all of which where only too happy to help, heck they even chipped in with a few words of praise.

Here we have the lovely David B.

“The best I’ve read since ‘War and Peace’, this is back of the net stuff”

As for Heather Mills-McCartney.

“Divorce? That can bloopin well wait til I’ve finished chapter 5. What! it has no pictures – where’s my solicitor”

Big Davey G

“Hey y’all this is as shiny and black as ma dome, this is well safe man”

Wee Tommy C

“Ace man, I can gain an extra inch by standin on this, Hey Katie, pucker up for tiny T and his pocket rocket”

Madge and her scabby fadge

“You gotta get into this groove guys”

Little Georgie and his Bush

“I can smell tinkle”


Well, if it's good enough for them...

Be Beautiful evryone.

cV

Greetings from Siberia

Wow err I mean Hi.

This being the first blog entry I have ever done, I mean, you know, you want it to be right, at the end of the day it’s first impressions that count - so do I go with some apocryphal tale that can drag on and on and on over several hours and hope that you guys stay awake, thus in the process make myself seem well educated and literate?

Or do I go for the witty end of the stick (so to speak) maybe tell a few jokes like “what do you get if you put ink the freezer? =[ iced ink ]= well have a bath then” thanks to my 4yr old for that one, you know the answer there, especially if I have to take tips from an infant.

Do I go for the masculine angle and talk about nothing but sport? I’m a Plymouth Argyle fan, my golf handicap is in three figures, and my highest score in darts is 17 - I think we can leave sport well alone.

How about the kids angle and talk about PlayStation? Once again, I get no joy about being rammed off the road, being beaten 7-0, or getting my arse blown off – all this by an 8 year old. Ok so this is slightly embellished, it was an 8, 11 and 14 year old.

Cookery? Can’t cook can’t cook
Writing? Abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz thash my limit
Singing? Err no – even doeraymefahsolahteedoh – ends up sounding like farty dough.
DIY? Hell no, though I do have some shelves still up that I made about five years ago.

Hopefully next time I'll have found something interesting to yak about.

Until then, be beautiful.

cV